China is whatever America was and is. You can't really change mind of rational people about China being peaceful and aiming peace at the region.
Those examples do not really correlate with what China has done.
Fishing vessels are individuals ,not affiliated to the state,
And airforce is an asset of state which is controlled by that.
A group of airplanes doing a fly-by and violating airspace is not an incident but a purposeful message, PLAAF showing off that they can pitch long hauls from mainland to the end of disputed waters telling ' we are capable or reaching here and doing flights with a full wing'
This is not an incident or tiny bit like renaming islands you claim or dispute of fisheries. This is a matter of national security for countries have sanity to interpret these actions.
If it is as you claim, then you should inform me when China apologies for this. If China does not apology then it is as i have said.
And i don't think there is a gray area for bringing a wing of airplanes.
And when China apologies i will fully agree with you, that Malaysia and China has a good relationship respecting each other. Otherwise not.
Every country in this region has their own perception of their sovreignty in this region and that's why they blame each other for violating their perceptions of this issue, this whole region is " disputed" , every country can demand others to "apologize", that's why no countries in this region really demand "apologies" from others but they just "protest" against each other. I hope you know what "disputed" means, there is no internationally recognised border demarcation there.
China is different from US, we are not the same, US wages wars around the world after WW2, China hasn't fired a single shot to another country for almost 4 decades.